"Look Up Child" - Lauren DaigleI got the exact score I wanted for my SAT and a solid essay score. I am happiest about this not because it could mean I don’t take the SAT again, but because my starting point is strong. I also got my first academic rejection. I applied to a summer outdoors program in Alaska for girls. I worked very hard on the application and wished nothing more but for those looking over my application to be able to feel how badly I wanted to go on this trip. The email was sent out at 5:20 AM, right as I begin to wake up, starting my day off in complete devastation. The worst part was a sentence placed directly after the dreaded, “Unfortunately,”... “ We loved your application and want you to know that you made it to our final selection round!” What I am sure was meant to be a silver lining was the exact thing that made me spiral. It was one of my biggest fears encapsulated in one cheery sentence. I was good, great even, I go into the final round! But it wasn’t enough. I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat this, it affected me, a lot. But I know over everything, it was a learning experience, and no matter what I do, it isn’t going to be my last “Unfortunately”. There are going to be plenty of colleges that deny me because there isn’t enough space, I’m not the right fit, or I really am under qualified. Not to mention the jobs, programs, and internships I will be turned down from in years to come. I am learning to stop defining myself by my academic success. I know that I am so much more than an application or test score, but the educational system does an amazing job of making teens everywhere feel otherwise. I don’t fully believe that I am more than my achievements, but I don’t fully believe they’re all I am either. For now, I’m just trying to find a balance between those two, through acceptance and rejection.
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AuthorFollow my path as I attempt to stick the landing on the most difficult academic year of my life so far. Archives
June 2019
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