My internship is working with Regina Kruglyak, the K-12 Science Resource Teacher. Now, I am not a science person and anyone who knows me knows this. I have struggled with it in every form, chemistry, biology, psychics, engineering, etc. At a meeting while speaking with other office members, I was asked what made me choose this as my internship. After explaining my connection to Regina, I said that I knew I wanted to work in education and that I saw myself as a teacher, but I also wanted to explore other options, i.e, district level work. I then was asked what kind of teacher I was interested in being. I said I wanted to work with kids my age and that writing was my personal passion, so teaching English. This caught the attention of the ELA department and after looking at the work I have done and speaking to me, a summer internship is being opened up to me! I like this work. Doing it feels so different from school work. Here I know I am making an impact and giving a lot of students a voice and allowing their needs to be addressed directly in the curriculum. Not only that, but my voice is valued and respected far more than I have ever felt. Although I know this is a once in a lifetime experience and that as I get older I won’t be able to to this work, I have hope that I have helped open a door for student voice to have a place in the district. Most adults I have spoken to are interested in interning High Tech students in the future and seeing in general how students can more actively participate in creating their education. A big struggle for me is feeling like I am not making progress, or I'm only making progress for progress sake. Knowing that the work you are doing will ACTUALLY make a difference feels a lot better than doing work just so you can get to a different place. So yeah, consciously moving forward instead of a perceived stand-still feels amazing.
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I, and I know a lot of adults in my life would agree, am a very introspective and reflective person. My resting state is one of change, of always seeing where I am, and where I think I should be. When I see something in someone else that I think I want to develop in myself, I typically do. However, this doesn’t seem to translate when it comes to mental health. The adults that I am close to all seem to have a good sense of how to take care of themselves. Self care is never easy, but they seem to have it figured out, or at least enough so that their mental health doesn’t incapacitate them. I know that my self care is going to need to be more than just yoga or travelling, but what I want to develop from others in myself, is the desire to put that time aside to take care of myself. I’m arguably getting better at realizing when I’ve reached my breaking point, but I still struggle with letting it go at that point. I don’t say give up, because it doesn’t mean that I can never do something that pushes me past my limits, it means it’s not what I need right now. I need to learn balance. The lack of balance in any part of my life has been my undoing on so many levels, but it is now my task to correct this. I’m taking baby steps, going to the gym, knowing my coping mechanisms, using art to heal, but it’s definitely something I am not a “high achiever” at, but then again, I think it’d be good for me to stop striving for being “good” at everything.
"Diva"-Beyonce The work that I’m doing is all about new concepts and pushing out innovative work, I mean it’s called the Office of Innovation for a reason. That doesn’t take away from the fact that it is the Office of Innovation in the San Diego Unified School District, which is over a century and a half years old. It feels like some sort of an inside job, being inside the building where a lot of the curriculum I am fighting to change was created. It’s interesting being in an office, very much different from high tech high classrooms. There is also an established office culture which is something that I never really considered. Of course I see classroom culture everyday, but that just seems to make more sense to me. In my specific office and the offices in general, there is a set way of interaction that was very interesting to observe and adapt to not only as a newcomer, but as a kid. I feel very thankful that all of the people I am working with value me more because of my age not in spite of it. I knew that coming in I would be working with Regina who knew me well enough to know I’m serious about my work, but I have gotten the same respect from adults who have worked alongside me. Additionally, I have received a lot of praise for my work and overall feel very respected as a teen in an adult space. Finally, I do enjoy expressing myself with the way that I dress, my hair, and makeup and I definitely find humor in the stares I get from some old ladies throughout the building.
I feel amazing about my internship. With the work that I will be doing, I am giving teachers a student’s perspective and helping to tailor curriculum that is already innovated. I am working at the SDUSD Office of Innovation. The purpose of this office is innovating (obviously) traditional schools’ curriculums in order to better teach a changing generation. This is everything that I want to do. I believe that education can be such a beautiful and amazing thing, so long as it is given in a way that prioritizes learning over “success”. Helping others has always been a passion of mine, it genuinely brings me joy to be able to make sure that other kids get better experiences. This is something I actually struggle with personally, I feel like a lot of people don’t see my passion for others as genuine, or that I just do it bc it “looks good”. However, I know that with the pain and the “bad” experiences I have had, it makes them better to use them for good. So maybe it is selfish, but at the end of the day, if I’m able to turn my, or someone else’s hurt into good, it’s a win no matter what. I think the role that I will be playing at my internship is one that should be a given position everywhere. School districts everywhere should have student voice be valued as we know ourselves better than any survey. By providing real student voice and perspective, I’m helping other students, and that makes me very, very, very happy.
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AuthorFollow my path as I attempt to stick the landing on the most difficult academic year of my life so far. Archives
June 2019
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